2 Fail-Proof Ways to Become a More Confident Christian

Hey there, 

This post is mostly intended for those who are new-ish to the faith or just re-dedicated their lives to Christ, but whether you’re a new Christian, somewhere midway in your walk with Christ, or you consider yourself quite seasoned in the faith, confidence is essential to blooming in every aspect of your life, and the Lord cares about how you see yourself because you’re His child. You belong to God.  

Can you pause here for a minute and just say that out loud to yourself?

I belong to the Most High God. 

When you said the salvation prayer, you entered into a covenant relationship with Him. Know and believe that He has you in the palm of His hand and will never let you go. He is committed to your growth and transformation, but you must do your part by staying rooted in Him. You stay rooted in Him by being intentional about reading your Bible and praying everyday. These basics are often overlooked but they are still as powerful as ever. The key is consistency, so do what you have to do to make sure you’re consistent.  

There are many reasons why your confidence has taken a hit, but this post is speaking mainly on low confidence stemming from an ignorance of your identity in Christ. So much of the mental warfare that Christians in general, but new Christians in particular face, is rooted in their failure to understand what it means that they are now in Christ. That doesn’t have to be you if you implement these two practices: 

1. What you don’t know can kill you. So:

Get more knowledge. Forget what your mind tells you about your accomplishments or lack thereof, or your looks and how others perceive you, have you ever meditated on what your actual Father in heaven says about you? What He thinks about you? And do you actually believe it, or do you simply read the verses a couple times, nod your head and then go on living your life as if you didn’t just read what you read? 

If God has said that you’re made in His image, and that information means absolutely nothing to you because you have no idea what it means, then find out what it means. Set out some time to do a study on that verse or chapter, because the more you learn about God, His character, and His heart towards you, the more you know who you have the potential to be and become, since, again, you are His child. You’ll start seeing your life, your self and your capabilities differently – and believe me, that changes everything.

You don't have to stop at accepting the Lord as your Lord and Savior. There’s a whole new life waiting for you at the other side of your yes, and it’s up to you to lean in and find out everything the Lord died to give you access to, so you can grab ahold of it and start living the glorious life you’ve been called to.

Practical Action:

Look up bible verses that tell you what God thinks of you. Choose one that stands out to you the most, and do a bible study on it. Write it on a sticky note and post it on your mirror. Make it the screensaver on your phone. Memorize it and declare it out loud to yourself when the enemy starts bullying you by introducing false thoughts in your mind about who you are or aren’t and what you are or are not. Meditate on it for as long as you need to, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to open up the verse to you and help you to understand it in new and exciting ways every time you read it (He’ll blow your mind, trust me).

2. Yap to God more. By this I mean:

Pray more. Set yourself in a quiet place where it can be just you and Him and literally just yap like you’re talking to a parent or an older person who you respect and who you know loves or cares for you. This can be hard to do if your earthly parents are not necessarily people you feel emotionally safe with, and/or you don’t have any older people in your life who have been examples to you. If this is your dilemma, use the gift of your imagination. 

At first, it was hard for me to approach God believing He was a good father who loved me. I didn’t know or have any good earthly examples to use as a reference, so I had no clue what that looked like. I was also afraid that if I told God how I really felt about Him, He would be offended and punish me. But I had it all wrong. 

It turns out that God is not afraid of, or offended by your questions, comments, anger, etc. You can vent to him in your quiet place. He actually wants to hear from you. You can ask all the questions you have about the Bible and you can express how you feel about your parents, family, friends, etc. You can tell him how you’re tired and don't understand the purpose of your presence on earth. You can confess anything–I promise He can take it. You probably won’t receive an immediate answer or immediate understanding, but He is listening to you, and He will speak to you in a way you understand, at just the right time. Just keep yapping.

Practical Action:

Carve out a space in your room or anywhere you like, and set the mood by playing some worship music or instrumentals. This also helps to align and quiet your heart. Try to make it the same place at the same time, every single day. Don’t forget to bring your Bible. Start by running through the day in your head, from the moment you woke up to that very moment. Thank God for everything that happened, good and bad. Assess your actions and motives, things you said or did during the day/week that you knew were wrong or could have been handled better, and confess them before Him. Ask that He would forgive and cleanse you. You can also read Psalm 51 at this juncture. 

Then, officially welcome Him into your space. You might say something like “You are welcome Lord. I’d like to speak with you.” Or you could choose to skip the welcoming part and get right to the nitty gritty–it’s up to you. Sometimes I begin by asking how His day went and sometimes I’m too angry to. Just start talking. Tell Him what’s been on your mind. Whatever’s been keeping you worried and anxious? Spell it out in detail. Feel free to let the tears flow if it gets there. You can also pray in tongues, if you are able. 

When your heart is finally unburdened, sit in the silence. You’ll most likely randomly remember a verse but not know where it’s from. In that case, google it and then find it in the Bible and read it. Read it over and over again and let it wash over you. If it’s a verse of instruction, be sure to obey. If nothing comes to you, don’t worry! That usually means you don’t have enough of the Word in you yet that the Holy Spirit can draw on and bring to your remembrance. Spend some time reading your Bible and trust that the Holy Spirit will lead you where He needs you to be. God speaks through His Word. The more you read it, the better you’re able to discern when He’s speaking to you. 

After the Lord speaks to you, feel free to thank Him and be on your merry way. If you feel like He didn’t speak to you, thank Him in faith, trusting that He will, eventually. Sometimes, you’ll stumble on an Instagram reel or Youtube video during the day that covers all or a portion of what you shared in your secret place with Him. Then you’ll know it’s Him responding to you. Keep in mind that you don’t have to follow my format if you feel led to do something different. You can spend your time journaling as a means of communing with Him, or you might decide to sing what’s on your heart instead. It’s up to you. However you communicate, He understands and is there to listen.

“But D, how does this build my confidence?”

I’m so glad you asked–I don’t know either. I don’t know how the Lord does it, but the more you bring your cares, sorrows, thoughts and worries to Him, the more able You are to carry them. He either strengthens you to endure difficulties while He is working things out on the back end, or He gives you the wisdom to know what to do and how to do what you need to do in order to resolve them. Sometimes, He chooses instead to comfort your heart and give you a kind of peace that erases all the worry and helps you understand that you are backed by Him and therefore, cannot fail.

Your circumstances may not even necessarily change, but you will. He changes your perspective by giving you a higher one, helping you see people and situations the way He sees them. He has many ways of helping us, and He knows just what we need, and the doses we need them in. Trust Him wholeheartedly. He knows what He’s doing, and He knows you better than best.   

Everyday you come to meet with Him, He uses that time to give you insight, strengthen your spirit, and transform you from the inside out. You may not notice the difference at first, but as the weeks and months pass, it will be obvious to you that certain things that used to shake you in the past, no longer have that power over you anymore. You’ll notice you speak differently because you think differently. And because you think differently, you also show up in the world differently. Friends and colleagues may not be able to put a finger on it, but they’ll know something’s changed about you.

I pray you’ll be patient with both the process and the processing. 

Growth takes time. Time takes time. 

And though there is much grieving in growth, grow anyway.

Romans 8:19 (PHILLIPS)

May the Lord keep you. 

D.